When to leave the Office Party

Happy Thursday,

So, you’ve had a couple of drinks, laughed at someone’s questionable jokes, and finally started to relax. It's been a long year, and the office Christmas party is a time for celebration with the team. But then it hits you: How long should I satay? Stay too long and you risk blurring boundaries. Leave too early and you risk looking distant. Every December, leaders navigate this quiet situation. Since this newsletter is about practical and pragmatic advice for leaders, let’s talk about this and understand what research says, how you can navigate it, how to avoid the danger zone, and some practical tips.

🧠 LEARN something.

Research and social psychology are pretty consistent on this matter. The longer a leader stays at an informal event, the more their presence reshapes how the room behaves. People naturally adjust around authority, even outside work. Studies show that when a leader is present, teams take fewer social risks and self-regulate more. The patterns aren't hard to notice. I'm sure you've seen it yourself. In fact, recently I was at a function where one of the directors stayed until the last drinks call. No one let their shoulders drop all night. The moment he left, the entire group relaxed like a valve had been released. It wasn't about alcohol or psychological permission but instead the simple truth that power follows you into every room, even when you're holding a sausage roll at a Christmas party. You don’t just attend parties, you change them, as the room's energy quietly reorganises around you. Despite the research and experience, you'd be surprised how many leaders, even senior executives, would argue otherwise.

So let’s get to the second point. There’s also a practical upside to this. Leaving at a reasonable hour keeps you away from the danger zone: having a few beers and clowning it. Take it from someone who's been to more than my fair share of cocktail parties, awards nights, after work beers and Christmas functions. Don’t get me wrong, I'm always down for a good shindig! But if I could turn back the clock, I'd make some different decisions as a leader in my early career. Office parties aren't the right time for leaders to find release and let their hair down. You do that with your peers and fellow leaders, in a different space, away from your team. Some of the biggest corporate scandals at this time of the year come from leaders having one drink too many and undoing years of credibility in a single night. In short, create the space for your team, be involved, but know when to leave.

🤔 REFLECT on an idea.

One careless choice can undo years of trust, and you rarely get the chance to explain your side. Holding your boundaries, knowing when to leave and choosing restraint isn’t being uptight or disconnected. It’s being savvy enough to create space for yourself and others to relax without having to self-regulate around you.

😊 SMILE a little.

A Christmas party goes wild and two people immediately regret attending: the Leader and HR… one fears the headlines, the other fears the paperwork, and both know Monday is going to hurt.

✅ DO IT to get results.

If you’re still wondering when to leave the office party, here’s some easy and practical advice: arrive early and leave early. Set and communicate your exit time beforehand so you know exactly when to slip out, especially if you struggle to create a graceful offramp.

Also, if you are the type (like me) that easily gets caught up in the moment, then consider one of my favourite strategies from my military days, where I would ask one of my Sergeants or Chiefs to give me a quiet nudge, “Sir, it’s time for the officers to leave.” That cue was enough for me to depart. Remember, your influence isn’t measured by how long you stay but by how thoughtfully you engage.

🌱 How we can support you and your team.

We provide strategic leadership solutions tailored to align with your business strategy, size, and budget. We can support your with:

• 1:1 Leadership and Performance Coaching

• Team Coaching, for high performing teams

• 1:1 Health & Lifestyle Coaching for busy stressed leaders.

• Workshops, offsites and team development.

• Or our flagship individual Leadership Coaching Programs.

Kia pai tō wiki

Kenny Bhosale

CEO & Founder, The Bridge Leaders