The List Leaders Never Write

Happy new year!

I hope you’ve stepped into 2026 with a full battery and a clear head. Let’s kick off the year with something that most of us rethink at this time of the year, and often have a love-hate relationship with: the to-do list.

Most leaders and managers start their working day the same way. You open your calendar and emails, add new tasks to your day and by lunch, you’re busy doing them. By the arvo you’re slightly stressed, and by 5pm, your carefully planned to-do list looks like a Jackson Pollock painting. So you promise yourself you’ll be more productive tomorrow. The problem in all of this, is that we get fixated on tasks and lose sight of our character and presence as leaders. The good news? There’s a better way for leaders. So, let’s dive in.

🧠 LEARN something.

A couple of years ago, I coached a senior project leader who was brilliant at managing outputs and deadlines, but invisible as a leader. Her team described her as efficient, not inspiring. Great at getting things done, but not someone people turned to as a leader. Her calendar was full, yet her presence was missing. She planned, managed, and executed flawlessly, both for herself and her team. But that wasn’t why she came to me. She approached me because she felt stuck, often overlooked for promotion with no real reputation as a leader. So, after a few sessions, we changed the focus to a different kind of list. Not a to DO list, but a to BE list. Focusing not what she’d DO that week, but who she’d BE that week: curious, calm under pressure, connected, and grounded. The focus wasn’t on doing, it was on changing her being and shifting her self-identity as a leader. Within a month, her team noticed the shift. Not because she worked harder or delivered more, but because she presented differently.

Research backs this too. Studies from the University of Michigan’s Center for Positive Organisations show that leaders who set identity-based intentions (qualities they want to embody) are rated 31% more trustworthy and 28% more effective by peers. Similarly, research on ‘implementation intentions’ at New York University showed that behaviour anchored in identity (“I am curious”) sustains longer than behaviour driven by obligation (“I will ask more questions”). In essence, it’s the difference between deciding to do something, and deciding to become something. When you define who you want to be, your actions start to follow naturally. The to-be list shapes the tone of your leadership. Actions still matter, but they’re no longer the primary driver.

🤔 REFLECT on an idea.

That line cuts through the noise by reminding us that people don’t follow instructions and plans; they follow people. Leaders who can intentionally decide WHO they will be (calm, fair, curious, etc.) before they decide WHAT they will do, will naturally and more consistently act and become to that identity.

😊 SMILE a little.

My to do list assumes I’m calm, focused, emotionally regulated, and uninterrupted. My calendar, inbox, and other humans at work all strongly disagree.

✅ DO IT to get results.

Here’s one action to try first thing tomorrow, or your first day back at work. At the start of the day, on a post-it or at the top of your notebook, write down one quality you want to embody that day as a leader. Not a task, but a way of being. Something like, “Today, I am patient”. No affirmations, no fluff, just a clear commitment to how you will show up as a leader. Keep it visible and top of mind. Don’t force it. Let it quietly shape every meeting, interaction, and email.

Then, during the day or end of the day, reflect on how you showed up. This simple reframing shifts how you express your leadership identity. Over time, you’ll notice the change, and then you can add more to your to-be list. Now you’re growing as a leader, not just getting more done.

🌱 How we can support you and your team.

We provide strategic leadership solutions tailored to align with your business strategy, size, and budget. We can support your with:

• 1:1 Leadership and Performance Coaching

• Team Coaching, for high performing teams

• 1:1 Health & Lifestyle Coaching for busy stressed leaders.

• Workshops, offsites and team development.

• Or our flagship individual Leadership Coaching Programs.

Kia pai tō wiki

Kenny Bhosale

CEO & Founder, The Bridge Leaders