Hidden Cost of Humility

Happy Thursday,

Ever been told to “stay humble” and felt it was sound advice? Me too. Humility is a valued and necessary trait in good leadership, and this newsletter is NOT here to knock it. But you can also have too much of a good thing. In my experience, overdoing humility can quietly undermine your leadership, and end up hurting you and your team in the long run. So let’s talk about how too much modesty and humility might be holding you (and your team) back.

🧠 LEARN something.

Not long ago, I coached a talented leader – let’s call her Sarah. She was humble to a fault. Sarah never took credit, constantly deflected praise to her team, and shrugged off any attention and positive feedback on her work or achievements. Her intent was noble, but the results weren’t. Over time, her profile shrank. Colleagues started overlooking her contributions. Senior leaders stopped seeing her as a strategic player. Her voice diminished as she faded out of influence. In the room, but absent and invisible. Her lack of influence ended up hurting the team she was trying to heap praise on in the first place. This “nice, humble leader” approach was backfiring.

Sarah’s story is not uncommon. Because we love humility in ourselves and leaders, it’s often seen as an admirable trait, so we overplay it. Other times we do it because we are too scared of the tall poppy effect, where someone might chop us down if we put a spotlight on ourselves. Either way, the outcome is not favourable. In reality, good leaders are humble, but they are not invisible. Research backs this too, suggesting that constantly downplaying yourself can make employees view you as overly dependent on others, lacking autonomy, authority and agency. In the long run, it will likely stall your career growth too. I know this because with the vast majority of senior leaders we work with who want to go to the next level, we often talk about helping them build their authentic brand. Because good leaders are humble, but they are not invisible. Humility works best when it doesn’t erase your presence or strengths. So take a moment to reflect – does your humility strengthen your leadership, or hide it? 

🤔 REFLECT on an idea.

A bit cheeky, but it makes you think. False or excessive humility is not a virtue; it’s often just the pride of not wanting to appear proud. While true humility comes from knowing you’re not above anyone else, it doesn’t mean pretending you have nothing to offer. There’s a big difference between being grounded and being invisible.

😊 SMILE a little.

Sure, stay humble… but then don’t act surprised when Brad (who does half your work) get’s the promotion and the recognition🤔

✅ DO IT to get results.

Not surprisingly, a lot of leaders I work with struggle to take credit. Some might drop a humble brag now and then, but that’s about it. Often it’s a culture, upbringing and mindset thing. But here’s the thing – you don’t even have to say much at all, except to master two words: “Thank you.” People will naturally talk about your contributions. The first step we often coach leaders on is to stop deflecting and simply accept the recognition. So next time someone calls out your effort… just smile and say “Thank you.”

🌱 How we can support you and your team.

We provide strategic leadership solutions tailored to align with your business strategy, size, and budget. We can support your with:

• 1:1 Leadership and Performance Coaching

• Team Coaching, for high performing teams

• 1:1 Health & Lifestyle Coaching for busy stressed leaders.

• Workshops, offsites and team development.

• Or our flagship individual Leadership Coaching Programs.

Kia pai tō wiki

Kenny Bhosale

CEO & Founder, The Bridge Leaders